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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531379">the truth hurts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanasmyfeather/pseuds/lanasmyfeather'>lanasmyfeather</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, One Shot, for now, what more is there</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 06:42:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531379</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanasmyfeather/pseuds/lanasmyfeather</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“The truth is... I never loved you.”</p><p>It was like someone had harshly punctured her heart. The organ was bleeding, all the while it was squeezing in her chest tighter and tighter, making it almost impossible for her to breathe. It was painful in a whole new way, in a way that Emma had never felt before and she was no stranger to pain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the truth hurts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this has been sitting in my files for almost two years now, and when i was recently going over ideas for something new i happened upon it. so here it is. it's meant as one shot but who knows, maybe i will add to it if i manage to get a hang on writing again. </p><p>special thanks to @reginaswhorse for reading through it and giving me your opinion, it was much appreciated! ✨</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“The truth is... I never loved you.”</p><p> </p><p>It was like someone had harshly punctured her heart. The organ was bleeding, all the while it was squeezing in her chest tighter and tighter, making it almost impossible for her to breathe. It was painful in a whole new way, in a way that Emma had never felt before and she was no stranger to pain.</p><p> </p><p>Green eyes closed on their own accord, trying to hold in the huge tears that were forming behind the lids. The pale lips were quivering, just barely locking away the sobs that were pushing against her throat.</p><p> </p><p>She had been battling with this feeling for weeks now. She didn’t want to believe that things were off somehow, that there was something wrong, that much had been sure. The young blonde had managed to convince herself time and time again that she was only imagining things. Even when the signs had been more than clear.</p><p> </p><p>It had started with the lack of hand holding, as Regina pulled her hand away every time Emma tried to hold it. First outside of the house and later even inside of it. There were no more hugs by the stove in the mornings when they were preparing to leave for work, as they no longer saw each other in the mornings. Regina was always up before Emma’s alarm went off.</p><p> </p><p>Then gone were the goodnight kisses as the only thing she received was a grunt and a turned back. Emma had tried to brush it off with the best of her ability, taping the cracks in her heart every time Regina stepped on it, but this was not something she could tape back together and ignore.</p><p> </p><p>Regina didn’t love her.</p><p> </p><p>Emma lifted her hand against her heart and balled up some of her shirt to hold. She wondered how easy it would be to just reach inside her own chest and check the damage but that was way too advanced for her as she was still learning.</p><p> </p><p>Daring to finally meet the intense gaze of the other woman, Emma straightened her back. There was no emotion in the brown eyes. No matter how long she stared in them, she found nothing. No warmth, no explanation, no feelings.</p><p> </p><p>Once upon a time, Regina used to be like an open book to her. They had shared so much of themselves with the other when they first got together, and it was clear they had suffered similar damage during their lives. It added to the match they already were.</p><p> </p><p>But now there was nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Emma didn’t know what to say or if she should say anything at all. She had questions, a lot of them, but she was unsure would she be able to handle the truth. Truth was often painful and there was already enough pain.</p><p> </p><p>It seemed though, that Emma didn’t have to say anything as Regina was the one to open her mouth first. Her voice was toneless and cold, and Emma felt like someone had dipped her in icy water. Not even when she had first come to town had Regina sounded like that. There had always been a feeling, be it rage or annoyance, but there had been something. She was lacking the richness that was so uniquely Regina.</p><p> </p><p>“You helped me get my revenge on Snow White.”</p><p> </p><p>Emma swallowed.</p><p> </p><p>“You were means to an end.”</p><p> </p><p>There was no stopping the tears anymore.</p><p> </p><p>This had been one of her biggest fears ever since she was a child in the system. That someone who says they love you, ends up being a filthy liar. That she was going to be left alone once more. That she was going to get used if she even imagined opening up to another person.</p><p> </p><p>Regina had been her person, her trusted one but now she was the one who seemed to have done more damage than the system, horrible homes and abuse ever could have.</p><p> </p><p>Defeat. That was the feeling on top of the pile. Exhaustion and sadness followed closely behind that.</p><p> </p><p>A hint of relief.</p><p> </p><p>Not because she didn’t want Regina to love her but because she finally knew what was going on. There was no more guessing, no more sleepless nights. It was all out in the open now, like her heart had been for Regina… once. But right now, both her reality and her heart were crushed to pieces. But at least she knew. She knew.</p><p> </p><p>And right now, that was the only thing she could concentrate on, otherwise she would crumble before Regina’s eyes. And that wasn’t going to happen. She had seen enough of her already, more than anyone else.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>Emma turned her back to Regina, her feet carrying her towards the door. The cold breeze that greeted her on the other side helped a bit with drying the tears, but Emma knew that there was no knowing would the pain in her chest ever let on.</p><p> </p><p>Regina watched as Emma was leaving, standing her ground in her pristine kitchen. Her face was unreadable, her arms hanging on her sides. She could hear Emma’s boots hit the floor as the blonde walked away from her, and eventually the door opened and closed.</p><p> </p><p>That was when huge tears spilled down Regina’s cheeks. She let out few gasps to avoid screaming out her agony. Hurting Emma like this was the most horrible thing she had ever had to do, and she was someone who had terrorised kingdoms for years as the Evil Queen.</p><p> </p><p>She had been able to see when exactly she broke Emma’s heart completely and during every second of it she just wanted to wrap the blonde into her arms and beg for forgiveness. But she had needed to use Emma’s weak spots in order to hurt her the most and there was no way she would ever forgive her, even if they survived through what was about to come.</p><p> </p><p>But for them to survive this, Regina had to hold onto the fact that Emma Swan was the love of her life and that they had gone through more curses and villains than anyone else, and they had come through victorious. She needed to hold onto the good things, because things were only going to get worse and she knew that the love she had for the blonde was going to be of help.</p><p> </p><p>“So, Regina, it seems like you finally broke the Savior like I asked you to.”</p><p> </p><p>Regina could feel chills running down her spine as she turned to look at Rumplestiltskin, who was sitting on one of her kitchen stools, smirking in the very lizard like way that was very much like him. Regina had seen his better half sacrifice himself for them all but somehow the bad version of him had found a way to follow them into this world.</p><p> </p><p>And just like the good version of Rumple, this one knew her well, like the student she had once been. He knew the ways to hurt her, to get her to reveal the horrible side of her that hurt people she loved the most. He knew which strings to pull to get her to bend to his will. And the pain she had caused Emma, was because there was a child to protect. <em>Their</em> child.</p><p> </p><p>Henry had just been rescued, things were finally calm and safe for everyone in town. Rumple appearing had been unexpected turn of events and he had threatened Henry’s wellbeing if Regina didn’t do as he said. Regina had no idea what this all was for or what kind of heinous plan Rumple had cooked up, but Emma clearly had a big part in it.</p><p> </p><p>“I did what you asked of me. You better keep your promise or I swear to god, I will rip you apart with my bare hands.” Regina was spitting out, but she knew she was lacking her usual bite. She couldn’t remember ever feeling quite so horrible which in itself was a proof of just how much she had changed.</p><p> </p><p>Regina hated that she was once again pulled in to Rumple’s plan and fresh set of tears rolled down her cheeks. She never wanted this for her and Emma, she had been preparing to spend an eternity with the other woman. Regina was fighting the urge to scream out her pain of hurting Emma, but she knew that when it came to protecting Henry, both of them would go to extreme measures.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t feel regret, because if this was going to keep Henry safe… well, she just had to hope Emma would understand.</p><p> </p><p>She had to understand.</p><p> </p><p>It seemed like Rumple was enjoying this a bit too much. He clapped his hands happily before his eyes met the teary ones of Regina. His tone was cruel and Regina understood that this version of her former teacher was even more dangerous than the one she had known.</p><p> </p><p>“My, my, look at that delicious agony. Well, dearie, I can tell you, it’s going to get a lot worse. I know you say you have changed and you only did what I asked so you could protect your son. I’m a man of my words and I will not harm the boy. But I wonder… just how much protecting you can do, when I kill the other part of your heart.”</p><p> </p><p>With a single, sharp manic laugh, Rumple disappeared from the kitchen, leaving Regina alone. Her breathing was coming our in short bursts as she tried to piece together what the imp had just said. Panic was clouding her mind and only one question was filling her mind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“What have I done?”</em>
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